Workplace Relationship Solutions

It is all based on perspective!

2007-04-18T02:30:00.000-05:00

I have encountered so many women (and men) that worry about how they are perceived based on their weight and physical appearance. There are even studies that weight can be a detriment in the workplace (promotions, management potential, etc.).

Yet, like many things in life, it is all based on how you look at it and where you are looking from!

This is a great article about how the standard for beauty (especially for women) in some parts of the world is based on being as large as possible (even obese).

So, think about this next time you are worried about how you look. Do you have a real medical issue to be concerned about, or are you just letting cultural forces shape your thinking?

From http://www.mg.co.za/articlePage.aspx?articleid=304972&area=/insight/insight__africa/:

Desert country battles to break culture of fat women

Tradition

Obesity is a tradition across much of the Arab world, where nomadic peoples struggling to survive the harshness of the desert came to prize fatness as a sign of health.

Forty-four percent of women over 30 in Saudi Arabia are obese, as are approximately a third of adult women in Egypt, Bahrain and Kuwait, according to data from the International Obesity Task Force in London.

"A man's goal is to marry a woman that fills his house. She needs to decorate it like an armoire or a TV set. If she's big, she gives the house importance. If she's thin, she disappears," said Seif l'Islam (48), curator of a library of ancient Islamic manuscripts, including numerous love poems to plump women.

...A common Moor saying holds that the place a woman occupies in a man's heart is according to her volume. Even as infomercials tout the health benefits of being thin, many men say they prefer voluptuous women.

Isselmou Ould Mohamed says he loves his wife's 90kg body and was secretly pleased when she began putting on even more weight during pregnancy. When he learned that to shed the extra pounds she was walking around the soccer stadium in the Mauritanian capital, Nouakchott, he was revolted.

"I don't like skinny women. I want to be able to grab her love handles," says the 32-year-old. "I told her that if she loses a lot of weight, I'll divorce her."

Read the whole article!

Courtney's Chronicles

2006-07-12T16:32:00.000-05:00

Courtney & the Cheetah

I had the indescribably fantastic fortune to work in South Africa about 22 months ago. I was transformed in many ways, but I wanted to share this photo of my first (and probably last time) petting and cheetah. I faced many fears (that long plane ride of 16 hours) and wrong assumptions by working in South Africa. I made wonderful new friends and have found another place in the world to call home. Here I am with the Cheetah (who we were told not to approach with any fear because he/ she could sense it): FEARLESSNESS is best (although it often has to be faked)!

If my title says manager, why do I feel like a babysitter?(tm)

2006-07-12T16:23:00.000-05:00

Featured Article
If my title says manager, why do I feel like a babysitter?(tm)

We all know that we choose to be managers for the power, the glory, the riches and thrill of leadership! Yet, sometimes there are moments when our very complex responsibilities and organizational needs grind to a halt due to interpersonal issues and we can feel like very well paid “baby-sitters”. I have a current speaking program and am developing an audio program and book with this topic content. This program addresses the reality of modern global workplaces and the true liability and responsibility that managers have for handling “soft skill” interpersonal issues and befuddling behavioral by adults. This program defines where we draw the line and what techniques we can employ to return to management and leave baby-sitting for the childcare professionals! Full article...

Executive Coaching - NEW SERVICE!

2006-07-12T16:17:00.000-05:00

Executive Coaching
Wouldn't it be great if there was someone who would independently really listen to your work challenges and offer professional, practical advice to help solve your problems? Are your family and friends tired of listening (smile) or unable to offer actionable solutions for those unique work challenges that are draining your energy? After many years of requests, we are implementing executive coaching formally as a new service!More information...

What's New!

2006-07-12T16:12:00.000-05:00

Hello Friends!

Summer is a time to rest, relax and rejuvenate and I hope your summer is off to a fantastic start! Here at Courtney Anderson & Associates, LLC we have been very busy. We have a new redesigned website! We have added new services, articles, and information to help improve your workplace relationships, leadership & management skills, legal compliance and personal empowerment! We also have a new speaker packet (with an incredible DVD with media and speaking demos).

Please share your opinions with us and take one (or more) of our polls!

On a personal note, I am so thrilled that I am fortunate to be booked on CNN Headline News Nency Grace as a regular expert! Email us and let us know if you want to receive media alerts for the show airings. I continue to be represented by the esteemed Television Agent, John Derr, with the LornaDave Agency (LornaDave.com). In addition to my ongoing media work, I am currently obtaining my PhD in Industrial-Organizational Psychology from NorthCentral University (the better to provide solutions for your challenges)! I am serving as an adjunct professor at DeVry University, the University of Phoenix and other top distance learning institutions in the business management and legal departments. Lastly, I am writing a new book and recording several new audio programs of my most requested topics!

Thank you for your support and enthusiasm that has provided me the opportunity to research, develop, and deliver new information through speaking engagements, audio programs, books and the media! I am truly fortunate to be able to entertain and educate through my work and to have the most enthusiastic, positive, and creative clients, representatives and professional team possible. I am grateful and appreciative of each of you!

Courtney Elizabeth Anderson

Every time you think you have heard it all...

2006-04-28T22:47:00.000-05:00

I am often asked how I make dry subjects like workplace relationships, business productivity, management and legal compliance so interesting and fun to discuss. Well, I find all this entire area endlessly compelling and many of the situations highly entertaining (although many are just disturbing and sick). Anyway, I am always collecting new real tales of workplace behavior to assist in creating new solutions for clients. I am going to file this story today under something new. I have actually not had clients put people in diapers so this is a new area.

Here is the story from yahoo news today:

The jury of six men and six women found that Janet Orlando, 53, was subjected to sexual harassment and sexual battery when she was paddled on the rear end two years ago at Alarm One Inc., a home security company in Fresno. The jury said Orlando did not suffer from sexual assault, as she had alleged.

Jurors awarded Orlando $10,000 for economic loss, $40,000 for future medical costs and $450,000 for emotional distress, pain and suffering. They awarded her an additional $1.2 million in punitive damages.

Orlando quit in 2004, less than a year after she was hired, saying she was humiliated during the company's camaraderie-building exercises.

Sales teams were encouraged to compete, and the losers were made fun of, forced to eat baby food, required to wear diapers and spanked with a rival company's yard signs, according to court documents.

Lawyers for the company said Orlando and others took part in the exercises willingly. The company has since abandoned the practice.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060429/ap_on_re_us/spanking_trial

Diversity in Action!

2006-04-25T00:22:00.000-05:00

I have spoken many times regarding the issue of diversity as a business tool that can be used a sustainable competitive advantage. I was reading my local paper, the Austin-American Statesman, a few weeks ago on April 16th and was delighted to see an example of my content perspective in action. I do fervently believe that diversity is a bottom line business issue and not a "touch-feely" nice thing to do if you feel like it. I believe it is a necessity and not an option. Yet, I believe the concept and execution process are woefully misunderstood and marginalized by organizations around the world.

I argue that with globalization, firms and organizations that correctly conceptualize and deploy diversity initiatives will succeed over those that don't. An example from the paper was that Samsung, South Korea's largest conglomerate, selected (and their board recently approved) a new $3.5 billion to $4 billion semiconductor plant expansion in Austin (my home base). Austin was competing with many other cities for this plant site selection. Although there were many factors that played a role in the final choice, the paper noted that when the Austin delegation visited South Korea:

"But the clincher might have come from Juan Sanchez, vice president of research at the University of Texas, who adroitly pointed out that UT-Austin had more students from South Korea than from any other foreign country. He showed slides of Korean graduate students doing chip research at UT's Pickle campus.
"Their eyes lit up,"..."It was a prideful moment for them."

I interpreted this to be an example of how diversity as an integral part of the business approach by the US (Austin, Texas) delegation was a tool for success to further discussion (and open communication)!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY DID THAT!!!!

2006-04-24T23:39:00.000-05:00

One of the issues that I am focusing on now in my PhD courses is the idea of countertransference. I am really finding this area to be helpful in understanding the frustration we often feel when confronted with behavior that just seems beyond ridiculous at work. Such as the employee who was caught forging documents who reacts angrily when confronted and denies their actions even in the face of overwhelming proof (video, etc.).

Over the years, I have had the pleasure of teaching some wonderful students and providing services to super clients with the assistance of incredible team members. I truly enjoy my work and look forward to it almost everyday. Yet, from time to time there have been some very challenging individuals in my work experience. One of the things that has always upset me was that the one individual who absolutely violated their responsibilities angered me the most with their "outrageous" behavior. Yet, if a person had demonstrated behavior that was blatantly "over the line" (i.e.- a student submitting plagiarism assignments, a team member refusing to follow their prescribed job duties); what should we expect when we confront them other than more "outrageous" behavior and/ or abuse. In other words, if someone has already shown us by their behavior that they DO NOT view the world the same way we do (by acting in a way that we would never behave) why should we expect them to react "normally" when we enforce the consequence for their actions?

Part of this behavior and frustration (even outrage) on our part is based on countertransference. That is the psychological process whereby we transfer our emotions onto our team member or client. Thus, if we would be embarrassed, ashamed, remorseful and apologetic at making a mistake at work; we wrongly project these emotions onto our team members and then are angry and/or frustrated when the other person does not behave that way. We are expecting that the other person would feel the way we would feel in that situation without being able to recognize that they are totally different people who do not share our feelings. This process then is the beginning of a horrible waste of time of coaching, counseling, and monitoring with our assumption that the person feels like we would, when they don't. Thus, we may have a tardy employee and we approach the situation based on the projection of our feelings that the person must be embarrassed and truly want to correct their behavior. We might be blinding ourselves to the reality of their apathetic behavior and the fact that they do not care about timeliness.

An oversimplified solution is that we must take steps to ensure that we are not interpreting other people's behavior based on our own emotions and that we are objectively evaluating their actions to ascertain their motivations. I will be writing and speaking more about this topic in the future. This topic is so fundamental to utilize in moving beyond disbelief and resentment and moving towards acceptance of the choices of other people. We have to craft our reaction so as to minimize time, resources and emotions expended in vain. So, instead of screaming, "I can't believe they did that!" We will calmly state, "their choices are not mine and neither are their consequences." Don't you feel better already?

The Soprano's Connection

2006-03-12T23:04:00.000-06:00

Tonight the new season of the HBO series, The Soprano's" premiered. I got a kick out of it because last year I was booked on FOX News for a segment with the actor Vince Curatola who plays Johnny "Sack" Sacramoni. I was in New York and it was quite a thrill to sit in the green room with this gentleman whose show I have watched for years. He was incredibly suave, dressed impeccably and very warm and funny. We both were on set together for our segment and it was very fun. So, it is not much of a connection, but it is a connection and I reminisced this evening as I watched the new season premiere! Fortunately, our co-workers and bosses in real life are not like the characters on this show who solve all work problems with organized criminal violence!

The Office...Is Hilarious

2006-03-10T18:57:00.000-06:00

I just watched the television show "The Office" last night (US Version). It was an episode on diversity training / issues and it demonstrated exactly the types of problems that arise when trying to get people to take the topic seriously. It also showcased how extreme a person who "just doesn't get it" can take their outrageous, illegal and offensive behavior. I had seen the UK version of this episode with Ricky Gervais and it was absolutely perfect.

I want to say that these fictionalized tv shows exaggerate how people really are; but in this case I have witnessed behavior even more over the top than in these shows! It is funny that the one topic that we are not inundated with "reality " shows about are those pertaining to the workplace . We have all seen the numerous shows depicting dysfunctional romantic relationships, family relationships, etc. but we do not see many realistic depictions of workplace challenges in the media. That is a challenge because it is hard to start fixing problems that we refuse to even acknowledge exist. And, unfortunately, many people spend more time at work each week than they do with their family and friends. So, they deserve to not be miserable while spending all those hours at work!

Democracy in Action

2006-03-09T12:19:00.000-06:00

I had the privilege of serving as an alternate election judge for the primary voting here in Texas on March 7th. It was a long day that started at 6:00 am and did not end until 8:00 pm! It really was great thought as I worked with some wonderful people and had fun all day. There were six staff total and although we were strangers (although some of us had met in the required four hour training class), we really worked well together. I was amazed at how professionally everyone conducted themselves and how quickly we bonded.

Everyone worked to ensure the voters needs were met which was challenged a bit by the use of computer voting machines for the first time in our county. The experience underscored the importance of the people that we work with and our workplace satisfaction. I had actually brought my computer and several books with me anticipating a long day to fill. But, I never even opened my laptop or cracked a book because I spent the time working and getting to know my co-workers. Sometimes we spend so much time discussing and analyzing workplace relationship problems that we need to be reminded of the awesome benefits of workplaces that are filled with positive professional people!

Even the Best in the World...

2006-02-22T19:45:00.000-06:00

I am always looking for new and unique examples of leadership, teamwork, etc. to inspire others and use as teaching tools. Often, when I am working with a team and trying to motivate them to rethink how they view each other and their workplace relationships; team members will say that their work is not as inspiring as it could be. I interpret their argument to be that if the job they were performing was more exciting or engaging, then it would be easier to get along with each other.

I have known for a long time (based on my work experiences and research) that the type of job is not related to the ability of a team to work together. This recent Olympic story (http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/Olympics/2006/02/22/bc.oly.spe.shani.chad.ap/index.html) where some of the best athletes in the world can not completely "get along" was a perfect example of how little the job matters to building teamwork. I have absolutely no athletic ability and the few times I have been on ice skates I ended up on my butt most of the time. But, Olympic speedskating is incredible even to watch. These athletes are in phenomenal shape, they are moving so fast and I can only imagine how much fun it would be to do what they do. Yet, even with something as amazing as an opportunity to be the best in the world at something, it is still extremely challenging for people to get along and work as a team. At least the rest of know we are not alone in the quest to find a way to work with other people!

Workplace Relationship Solutions

2006-02-08T14:14:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the new web log (blog)!

I am absolutely determined to utilize every possible avenue to spread the messages and solutions that I have shared and learned. There is nothing more stressful than working with a client with an incredibly serious workplace relationship issue, creating a solution and then not being able to immediately share that with other clients whom I know have the same problem. Hopefully now through the blog, we will be able to share solutions and learn faster and laugh a little easier knowing that we are not alone!